Challenged......

I came across this poem on Facebook tonight and fell in love with it.  I hope that this is something Tanner will always live by, and not let anything hold him back or get him down....

Challenged 

Some say I am disabled, 

But you know that isn't true. 

I simply have a challenge 

A little different from you. 

My slight inconvenience, has taught me 

Things they could not know. 

Each obstacle is a victory, 

Enabling me to grow. 

I'm not really any different, 

I cry, I laugh, I snore. 

I don't want to be treated 

As if I'm not a person anymore. 

Out of good intentions, 

People are afraid to let me try. 

But sometimes I have to fall, 

And sometimes I need to cry. 

God gives me strength and dignity, 

And the courage to be all I can be. 

For He doesn't see me as disabled, 

He just sees me as me. 

Leslie W Ortega

Connor Jackson Winward

Announcing the arrival of Connor Jackson Winward!!!  Born @ 9:25am on 11/17/11.  Weighed 9lbs 6 oz and measured 20.5 inches long.  

So much like Tanner in so many ways, yet definitely super calm and big personality!

Having a "typical" child after a special needs child is a whole different experience and one that I will cherish always.  It's amazing all the things that are considered normal.  :Things that you don't think twice about unless you experience things differently.  

I look forward to getting to know this new little man.  I'm still amazed at how much you can really love someone you just met ! :)

Tanner loved him from the very first moment!  I was worried about how he would react, but he has been so great about it.  There have been some extra meltdowns and extra whining.  But he loves to hold and kiss Connor and is always asking about him.  I look forward to watching them grow up together and becoming best buddies.

Bad Day.......

Good day... gone wrong.... went to visit hubby's mom Sunday night.... our car parked in driveway got broken into while we were gone!! We were only gone for 2.5 hours. We have it on video, but the video is in black and white and you can't see a lot due to it being dark! Jerk came 8 minutes after we had left and took about 20 minutes to tear apart the inside of the car!  Due to the fact that he came only 8 minutes after we left makes me feel like he was watching the house for who knows how long!  That fact freaks me out!

The police were able to get some pretty good prints from the car and the stupid guy left his flashlight in the car as well, so prints were pulled from that. I really hope they catch him!

It just sucks so bad that this had to happen 4 days before the new baby! Makes me feel so insecure!  It also makes it so hard to take care of things.

The one thing that I'm thankful for is that the garage door opener was not in the car!!! Cause otherwise he could have gotten in the garage and the house too!

Sweet Kindness

Tonight as I watched my son try to play with his cousins in his chair.... as they are running circles around him....... and he is getting more and more frustrated by the minute.... I REALLY HATED SPINA BIFIDA..... It was so hard for me to watch him want to play so much and not be able to keep up with the other kids. It was heartbreaking. At one point he even started to cry.
But then my oldest niece who is 9 did something so sweet. She asked him if she could push him to chase the other kids. He loved it! Thank goodness for her thoughtfulness. It was still hard for me to watch, but I'm glad he had more fun after that. When I thanked her afterward, she said that he deserves to be included even if he does it in a different way. So touching.

This picture is from last year, but its my favorite one of the 2 of them together.  Tanner sure loves his cousin Emily!

Such A Scary Moment!!!

I just about had a heart attack tonight!! Tanner was in his wheelchair and we were at a church leaving a rehearsal dinner for my hubby's sister wedding. Hubby let Tanner out the door and the sidewalk is tilted downward. Hubby didn't grab Tanner and he went zooming down the sidewalk. At the end of the sidewalk is the curb! The first thing I thought was "Oh no, he's going to fall forward and crash on the pavement....being pregnant and due in 6 days I couldn't run after him.... and was forced to watch helplessly and I screamed for my husband to get him! Tanner jumped off the curb and kept going towards a tree! Luckily my husband reached him and stopped him before he hit the tree! It was so horrible feeling like my son was going to get so hurt and not being able to do anything about it! Thank goodness all that happened was Tanner got scared!!

I truly never want to live through that again!  

38 weeks

Officially 38 weeks and 3 days  - C-section schedule in 1 week!  

I don't think I could get much rounder!  My maternity clothes are getting too tight, and that is simply pathetic! 

Here are a couple of 3D pictures the got of baby boy Connor!  Can't hardly wait to meet him!

Perfect little feet w/legs crossed.

 Face with arm going across

He's pretty smashed in there!  Almost there!

Preschool Eval - Frustrated

So..... we had Tanner's preschool evaluation today to see what he qualifies for as far as "extra services". They tried to tell me that he wasn't going to qualify for anything!! I about died! He has orthopedic/gross motor delays like none other!
Then the OT that was there was like "Why doesn't he have arm rests and a tray on his wheelchair?" I had the hardest time not flipping out over that one! We specifically didn't order either of these on his chair because we don't want him in his chair all the time at school! She was saying that these were needed because "how is he going to carry stuff otherwise?" GRRRRR!!! I explained that he had a backpack for the chair that can be added. And for lunch and such.... we will require an aid or helper. She looked at me like I was nuts! Am I wrong to think that?
And then she tells us that he needs wheelchair brake extensions. He can already work the brakes he has now. Yes, he has to bend down to reach them....but he can still do it. At this point I'm just frustrated......not sure what to think or what to do.
I went in expecting the meeting to go smoother or better I guess. It just threw me for a loop how shallow the OT was, especially after telling me that she has a brother that has Spina Bifida. It was maddening! You would think she above all others would understand!