Saturday, April 20, 2013
For me, having a child with disabilities has been tough. The extra stress that comes along with it, and the worry is almost too much to handle at times. It's racked our marriage to the point of breaking, and me as a person to the point that I wonder how I'll ever make it through.
I get asked all too often how I handle it, or how I do it. I don't do it because I have too, I do it because I can. Because I love him! Because he has helped shape me into the person I am today.
Some days it takes all my strength just to smile and keep going. Knowing that one day, what I'm doing will make a difference. I've been told that i'm such a strong woman. But its hard to feel that way, when I'm screaming on the inside for some normalcy. But what is normalcy, really? Society has painted normal to be something magnificent. Something practically impossible to obtain, especially for someone with "extras".
I find myself getting bitter and angry because I didn't ask to be a special needs mom, it just happened. Why me? Why him? Why our family?
One of the hardest things to deal with are the constant looks, stares, comments, and just plain ignorance from other people. We get it everywhere that we go. Yes, my son is in a wheelchair, but he is still my son. That is what matters most. It saddens me deeply how some people choose to treat others that are different. Tanner's wheelchair has caster wheels that light up, and ironically that is the first thing and sometimes the only thing that people notice. I wish more people in this world could see the person, and not just the wheelchair.
A little reminder to please treat others as you would have others treat you and/or your child.
Thought of the month, August 2012 from You and Your Disabled Child page -
"It's very easy to hurt the parents of a child with disabilities by ignoring or excluding the child, staring in disbelief, snickering, or looking away. On the other hand it's just as easy to make their heart swell with pride by responding to a smile, recognizing an achievement, offering inclusion or simply acknowledging the presence of the child. All parents - quite frankly - think their own children are wonderful, and those fortunate enough not to have to watch theirs struggle to cope with a disability should take a moment to think of the impact their reaction can have on those who do."
Posted by Ray, Star, Tanner, and Connor