"God doesn't give children with special needs to strong people; He gives children with special needs to ordinary, weak people and then gives them strength. Raising a child with special needs doesn't take a special family, it makes a special family."
" Faith makes life possible. Hope makes life workable. Love makes life beautiful."

The Winwards

The Winwards

Saturday, July 18, 2015

I WISH......

I wish ....   It's something I've heard my 2 boys say over and over about various things.  I wish for a new toy, I wish it would rain, I wish I could have some ice cream.  Most are wishes over silly things, trivial things.
But there is one "I wish"  that absolutely took my breath away when I heard it.  My 6 1/2 year old son, Tanner wished he wasn't born with Spina Bifida.  

Oh sweet, sweet boy.  How I WISH I could make that happen for you.  But its just not in our cards to do so.  I've always hoped he would never wish for that, and have dreaded this day.  The day I knew that would one day happen.

How do you recover from such a wish??  I hugged him and explained that although Spina Bifida is part of how his body works, it doesn't define who he is.  That God doesn't make mistakes, and he is perfect the way he is.  For him, that seemed to be enough for now.  I often wonder what I will say when it comes up again.

Now that his brother, Connor is nearly potty trained, able to run, climb, jump, Tanner is wishing he was more like his brother.  I grew up always comparing myself to others, never thinking I was as good as anyone else.  And now I'm watching my own son struggle with the same thing.  It breaks this mama's heart.

Tanner is an amazing kid.  He is kind, gentle, smart, courageous, strong, empathetic to others, helpful, wise beyond his years, funny, spiritual, profound, a fierce friend, and many more amazing things.  He never gives up, always willing to try new things (even if they are scary),  loves making new friends. He loves telling jokes, and is the greatest story and joke teller ever!

I hope one day that he can see what I see!