In a rut

So things have been really hard for me lately. I'm in a sort of rut emotionally and not sure how to feel better. I feel like my son Tanner was short changed in life due to being born with spina bifida.

I am frustrated with the fact that all the prgrams that I was told he would qualify for before he was born, he has been denied for except for EI. We are currently only getting physical therapy though EI, and the therapist that we have is a bit lazy. She does the same thing with Tanner each week, and I don't feel like Tanner is really getting anything out of the sessions. That makes me feel like I'm wasting my time sitting through the sessions. I have voiced my concerns to my case worker, but nothing happened there either... so I'm not sure what to do.

I am the most frustrated that Tanner got denied for the medicaid waiver. Without that he cannot go to the spina bifida clinic. And we are having to pay for all of his braces cause our private insurance doesn't cover any durable medical equipment. I get so jealous and envious of others that qualify for programs that Tanner should have, but got denied.

I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that Tanner has no feeling in his feet, and is behind in development due to all the surgeries he has already had in his short life.

How do I get past all the sad & tough feelings and feel better about my life with my gorgeous son?